I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
