Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
