So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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