in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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