he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
