remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
