My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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