yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
