Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.