Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible