Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(002): View more from

508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.

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(002) 508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway. http://tfl.nu/mu6c

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(951): View more from California

Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.

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(951): Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out. http://tfl.nu/nz84

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(402): View more from Nebraska

her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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(402): her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed http://tfl.nu/3qmq

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(260): View more from Indiana

Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?

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(260): Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache? http://tfl.nu/2cci

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(916): View more from California

Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?

(760): View more from California

You are my hero

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(916): Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI? (760): You are my hero http://tfl.nu/9mtt

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(708): View more from Illinois

she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.

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(708): she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween. http://tfl.nu/3m71

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(651): View more from Minnesota

how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.

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(651): how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts. http://tfl.nu/ixjv

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(214): View more from Texas

I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.

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(214): I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all. http://tfl.nu/v9t7

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.

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(724): So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress. http://tfl.nu/pksn

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one

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(978): Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one http://tfl.nu/zma0

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(314): View more from Missouri

The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.

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(314): The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder. http://tfl.nu/bkbj

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(937): View more from Ohio

Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.

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(937): Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh. http://tfl.nu/4hwq

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(201): View more from New Jersey

We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?

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(201): We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend? http://tfl.nu/y0ae

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(708): View more from Illinois

There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.

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(708): There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/luzg

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(303): View more from Colorado

You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.

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(303): You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out. http://tfl.nu/5jzq

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