we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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