Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
