Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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