It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
