Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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