Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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