I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
