ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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