We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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