you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
