i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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