i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
