You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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