That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
