Say something about gay babies.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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