Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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