We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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