It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
