Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
