if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize