I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We need to rekindle our bromance
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
