I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
