i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
