i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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