and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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