Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
