Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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