omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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