I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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