Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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