So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
