The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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