So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
