do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
