I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
he had hair everywhere except his balls
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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