I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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