i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
