Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
