I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
