just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
