she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
