You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize