So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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