Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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