R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
