I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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