i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
