Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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