I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There r osticjed everywhere
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
