I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
