I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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