"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The air was thick with penises
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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