I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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