How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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