I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
